


Poems Of Mine

by PancakeDomain



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 17:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11537139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PancakeDomain/pseuds/PancakeDomain
Summary: hell, i dont know.they seem edgy because of that stupid 12 year old emo boy aesthetic on tumblr like uhm ewit's pretty much vent poems





	1. My Shattered Mind

Losing my sense of reality  
The high is gone but it'll be back  
Wait and see  
My head is spinning in circle  
And it wont just leave me be  
I want these voices to just set me free

Why can I see  
What the answer to all my problems are  
Why wont it let me be  
Who I want to be  
No it wont stop begging  
No it wont stop pleading  
Do this  
Do that  
No I have to hold back  
Please just let me see  
That I can be who I need to be

Where is my grip on everything I see  
None of it seems real to me  
Every thing is just colors and random shapes  
Why cant my eyes and mind just process that  
There's more than that

Where am I  
Did i lose myself  
In my mind again  
Am i going to have to be like this until the end

I don't want to keep having to do this  
Everything I do is just a hit and miss  
Did I swing to fast  
Did I swing to slow  
I don't know where to go  
I'm slowly losing myself  
Dissociating from life  
Unable to do things right  
Unable to sleep at night

Cant keep my mind stable  
Why am I unable  
To keep me feeling alive  
Did I do something wrong  
Is this my karma  
Everything just seems dull

Why do the things I like  
Become more bland  
And that band I used to like?  
I'm now not a fan

Why does everything seem all scrambled inside  
Like a broken clock  
That lost track of time

Did I press to hard on my phone's keyboard  
Everything I thought was nice  
Is no longer there

I cant keep my grip  
My hands are too soft  
My heart is too soft  
I'm too soft  
I trust to easily  
And I can't see why  
Sometimes I just wish  
I would disappear  
Like a vapor  
Gone here one moment  
And gone the next  
When will my head  
Just end this mess

I want to play  
This song inside  
Maybe cry, or die  
Sometimes I'm too high  
On my own lack of emotions  
From inside my mind

Nothing seems to help  
Even with all of my effort  
I can't up in the morning  
Without my mind falling off the edge  
Of the bed  
Or my stomach dropping down to hell  
And if I keep falling  
Where will I land?

Will I crash and burn  
Or land on my two feet?  
Will I stumble and get hurt on my way down  
Or land on the ground with a peaceful meet?

Some things seem just like scribbles  
That I cant decipher  
There are too many pebbles  
Skipping across the water  
I can't count every single one  
Even with all the support  
There are just too many

What if I built a fort  
Around my mind  
So no one can get in  
And mess me up some more  
Because I'm learning I'm not letting down walls  
They're being torn apart one by one  
And I cannot stop it at all

Time is merely my own illusion  
Filled with this delusion  
Of reality  
As I slowly sip my tea

Unknowingly seeing what will help  
And what will make me fall  
As I stand by  
Corrupted images and faces stand tall

As I distract myself with petty treats  
My mind tries to slowly retreat  
Back into the abyss of my own world  
Leaving with no trace, without a single word.

My mind is in pieces  
Like glass shattered on the floor around  
And even with all the help  
Not one of the pieces are found

Things seem immaterial  
Unmanageable  
Intangible  
Forgettable

Like our existence  
Maybe we'll never be remembered  
By those in the distant future  
But those who know us now  
Will cherish us then and now  
They will not forget me  
I'll be in their memory  
Even if they can't recall my name  
There was a time when we would play

And even with my mind my mind all tangled  
My happiness would be favorable

But their needs before mine  
Are more precious than the endless time  
That we can share together  
I want to see them grow happy forever

Even if my own mind is corrupted  
And my thoughts are always being disrupted  
I know they can be happy  
And then maybe I can be free


	2. Midnight in the Forest

Am I really going anyone?  
It's as if I'm floating  
Into the abyss  
Of my own shattered and fragile mind

Wandering through a dark void forest  
I get lost in my own thoughts  
And lost track of where I've gone   
And how long I've been travelling

The darkness of the night collapses onto me  
And it's too hard to see  
Through all the bitter tall trees  
What is to become of me

The shadows of the night keep haunting   
They keep taunting  
And wandering  
And flaunting

They talk about how much better they are  
How they achieve more  
How they percieve the world  
And how they can keep their mind in one piece.

They hang over me  
Like the doubt that I cannot let go of  
The regret and mistakes that show  
They won't let me flee or go

They chain me down   
In the middle of the night  
And every slight movement from the wind  
Gives me a freight

Will they ever let me free  
And when will I be able to see  
What lies around me  
And what surrounds these things

Must I keep succumbing to this darkness  
Where there's no end in sight  
And even if I try to fight   
Will all my might  
I know there's no escape this time


	3. Please

Why bother leaping towards my goal

If I can't take another breathe

And if I'll only be doomed to fall

 

Why can't I see what's in front of me

If I could only believe

That all of this was really meant to be

 

I want to earn and know your trust

and maybe even be close friends again

But all I can see is the dust

that covers the windows that I see you through

 

I speak out to you

and try to call you name

But you just make me look like one hell of a fool

 

Can you not hear me?

Or do you ignore my pleads

I know that I am what you see

 

Am I supposed to feel this bitter taste inside?

It's consuming every inch of my mind

Why can't all this torture and pain subside?

I want you to see that I care for you and would die too

 

Please, just keep on going

You're oh so very close

And, with might, you appear to be glowing

 

Don't distance yourself from me, please

I can't bear to see you like this

Why can't we just speak while we let time freeze

 

I want to know that you'll start to grow

And become a better person as a whole

But you put up your walls in your mind

So I guess I'm forced to say to you: "Nevermind....."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hecc why wont you let me,,


	4. Did I Do Something Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fucking edgy lmao

Why do you make it seem as if I hate you?  
When you know that I do really care for you 

I'm scared to know that you don't care for me  
But if that's the case, I'll let it be

Why are you acting as if you were the old me  
All stubborn and as bratty, that's all I see

Can you just truly listen for one moment  
And maybe you'll understand that you aren't my opponent

I do fucking care for you  
Why don't you do too?

Did I do something that hurt you?  
Or is this all out of the blue

Even if I keep trying  
You'll still be denying

That I care for you  
I promise I really do


End file.
